Birthday

Early on Mum's birthday she received some flowers from an old friends delivered to the home followed by a parcel in the post - she was really thrilled. My sister and her husband picked her up from the home to take her to a restaurant for lunch. George and I met them there. We had a lovely lunch and she really seemed to enjoy it.  We had to get them to turn off the TV as it was very distracting for her.

We went back to the home. As we walked in her grandson (my son) walked in behind us. He was down from Auckland for work and had combined the two events without telling anyone. What a lovely surprise. Mum was quite tearful when she saw him. My other sister, who lives in Australia, was not able to come over due to work commitments but rang and spoke to mum when we got back - she was able to handle that pretty well with us there to help her. I think she felt really special with all the attention. We went into the lounge for a big birthday cake. She enjoyed all the fuss but when there are a lot of people around she tends to get overwhelmed trying to keep up with it all.She really enjoys having one or two people just concentrating on her all the time.

George enjoyed all the social interactions as well so that was good. My sister and her husband went home early this morning.

Visitors and needs assessment

My sister and her husband are visiting for four days. They went to visit mum yesterday and took her out so she was very thrilled to see them. They have gone on the TransAlpine train trip to Greymouth today. It is great for Mum to know that the family are all seeing her regularly so she feels loved by the family.  Before she developed Alzheimer's she said to me that she can't have been a good mother if the family haven't come to see her so now she knows that she has been and can feel good about that which is important for her.

George had a person come out to the house for a needs assessment today. This means that I can access respite care when I need to. She is also trying to get him into a weekly club so that he can have social interaction. In addition she has put his name down so that someone can come and be a 'friend' and go for walks etc with him which is fantastic.

Tidying up

Today I took mum out to have a coffee, feed the ducks and then go to a vege place where they sell berry ice creams (which she loves). She is still continually telling me that she wants her own place which always makes me feel guilty even though I know she is in the only place that can cope with her needs. It is really hard.

When I got home I found that George had pulled all the books out of the book case so I had to put them all back again. This happens all the time and makes more work. I know that he tries to help but really he makes a lot of extra work. He does not alway look at the whiteboard and I need to remind him to do that.

I try to encourage George to have a lie down in the afternoons as he gets tired. 

One of the reasons I started this blog was so that our families would be able to keep up to date with his progress and know what is happening. It is interesting to note who, in the family, looks at the blog.

Another reason I started it is that I know I have found it really helpful to know how other people manage and what they do to help the person with Alzheimer's as well as finding out how the Alzheimer's progresses in different people.

going through stuff

I was doing the housework when George went over to our old home yesterday. Last night we went to our local bar for a meal as we hadn't done that for a long time and I thought that George might like to.

When we got home it started to rain and George went back up to our old home and returned with around 40 VCRs - he did this in several trips. We are now in a smaller and no longer have the room for things we can no longer use but George finds this hard to comprehend - he has always been a hoarder. Now he keeps going through stuff and leaving it in piles which I then have to put away - this is repeated a lot...

Confusing objects

Got quite a shock tonight when George was looking at a book. He suddenly turned around and said 'is this a record?' I guess that is part of things but in most of those things George has been OK so it was a shock to hear that.

He had a big yarn with his son last night and told me all about last night and again this morning.

I find that he makes a lot of a mess and it takes a lot of my time going round cleaning up after him. He also tends to pull everything out of his drawers and leave it in piles on the bed or floor.

22 February

22 February is the one year anniversary of the earthquake that hit Christchurch, where we live, one year ago. We have had to move out of our home which George has found difficult and we still do not know what is going to happen to our home - will it be rebuilt or fixed.

We spent the day quietly at home and watched the anniversary on the TV. It was held in Hagley Park and many people attended.

George's son rang last night and they had a long chat. George loves that and he came in to tell me all about it after the phone call (I was asleep).

George is keeping his wine to two glasses a day most of the time but he also has gin out in the garage which he quietly sips away on as well.

Out and about

Went to the Home to get mum today and take her to Brighton for coffee which she enjoys. Imagine my horror to find out that mum had got out of the Home today and was luckily found by staff out in the foyer trying to get back in. Mum can be very quick when she wants to be and we think she ducked behind someone coming in or out and kept the door open to let herself out!!

Mark came in to help George this morning to get dressed and then I left to get mum. George got a bus and met us in Brighton for coffee. Mum was thrilled to see him so they had a great old chat both on their own conversations. George is still able to get the bus to and from Brighton although the time before didn't know where to get off and the bus driver found him at the end of the run. He brought him back and dropped him off!! People are really very good.

George loves going out for coffee so that we good. He is trying hard at the moment and is drinking under a bottle of wine a day but I need to keep an eye on it otherwise he will drink more which is when things become more confusing for him.

He is no longer able to put in a dvd and play it nor is he able to change the channel on the TV although he can still turn it on and off.  He is able to cook toast and boil the jug but not use the microwave or stove. He does enjoy socialising. Yesterday at the Gardens someone asked him what club he belonged to - these are day clubs for those with Alzheimer's (I don't think he twigged to that bit). Anyway he is keen to join one and as I said to him his name is down to join one when a space becomes available.

Gardens for coffee

Mark was round to help George with dressing this morning. George tries to keep wearing his pyjamas under his other clothes so it is great when Mark is there to help him and guide him with his dressing.

Took George to the Gardens for coffee today with the Alzheimer's group. George really enjoys doing this and chats away to all the others, it is very sociable.

I am trying to get respite care for while I am away at a family wedding. I have told George about this but he is not too keen but I need him to get used to the idea that that is what is going to happen. I rang the hospital today to get onto someone to come up to do a needs assessment quickly. I explained my circumstances and they were extremely sympathetic and said that I certainly needed to get some respite. I will start ringing some of the homes tomorrow to see where he can go.

George has three children by a previous marriage and I am trying keep them informed about his progress as none of them live here. I think it is important that all members of the family are aware of what is happening and that families support each other as much as they can.

Visit away

I have just got home from my visit away and nothing untoward appears to have happened. George was able to take his meal out of the fridge last night to eat it and a neighbour checked to make sure he was all right. However in the middle of the night he appeared to expect me home and could not find the phone number of the place where I was staying and therefore he woke the neighbours to see if they had the number. He apparently rang but must have got an answer phone.

He obviously felt insecure when I wasn't here - this is what he said.  This is going to mean that I need alternatives if I want to go away.

I found that he had drunk 3 bottles of wine in the 36 hours I was away!!

An interesting view point regarding how families cope is in today's society is that people are now living in different places so the extended family are no longer there to help support each other. It is very scary to think about what will happen to me in the long term as my extended family are all gone. I guess each family is becoming very insular but at some point families do need to help and support each other - people need to be able to rely on each other. While friends are great and can help and support in many ways is nice to be able to think that each one of us does in fact matter to other members of the family. It is important too for the children to know their grandparents equally as each can play an important role in their lives.

Stressed!

I must be stressed myself, went to get on the plane this morning and found that I go at 9.40 tonight not 9.40 this morning. Serves me right for not reading the ticket correctly.

When I got home found George had taken a bus to the local liquor outlet and bought himself 3 bottles of wine!! We had a talk about it later in the day as he was back drinking from several different glasses at the same time - one in the lounge, one in the dining room and one in the kitchen. As I said to him he had been going so well and he doesn't need to undo all the good work... He certainly has fewer problems when he is not drinking.

Clothing

Yesterday George had a shower and got dressed. I had to go out for a while in the morning. When I  got home George was in his pyjamas. At tea time he went to have a shower - he thought that it was morning. I explained to him that I was just getting tea and it was tea time. He went and got dressed. We have daylight saving at the moment but he does not seem to always know what time of day it is.

I am away for two nights. I have left his meals (cold) in the fridge. A neighbour is coming in to check on him. I think that this will be the last time I can do this and if I hadn't booked the flights so long ago I wouldn't be doing it now. Next week I am ringing the hospital to find out about respite care so George can go into a home when I go away.

Doctor visit

This morning I had to take George to the doctor at 10 a.m. Getting him up and ready was not the easiest - he slept in and he will not do anything in a hurry!! Finally got him there with the promise that I would take to a cafe for a coffee and toasted sandwich afterwards. The doctor mentioned that he thought that I would be entitled to respite care so I am ringing up the appropriate people to find out about that. George enjoyed going to the cafe and enjoyed an egg and bacon toasted sandwich.

George kindly fed the cat - the only thing was that he put the cat's meat into the full water bowl (the cat has dried cat biscuits) result - a big bowl of cat biscuits in the rubbish bin...

When we came home today I asked George to bring in the yellow (recycling bin) from the street. 'why' said George 'I haven't taken it out yet'. I then had to explain to him that it was taken out yesterday and had been emptied and now needed to be brought back in.

Improvements

George has been really good about drinking in moderation. Yesterday he only had one can of beer. This has made a big difference in his memory and ability to function. Unfortunately he has a pain in his groin which is troubling him. Mark, the caregiver who comes to help George three mornings a week, has noticed a difference in George too so it is not just me! The challenge will be to keep this up.

I bought a jig saw for the two of us to work on slowly - it is 750 pieces!! So far I have done all the work - George had a quick look but was not impressed with it. Hopefully as it grows he will start to do some of it.

George loves old movies so I often put a DVD on at night for him while I go to bed to watch another TV to see the shows I enjoy. 

Rewards

 Yesterday I took the cat to the Home for mum. I have found that those with Alzheimer's love animals and kids! Mum loves having the cat sit on her knee although she did get bored with her quite quickly. I suspect that was because two young men came into the Home to see another resident and mum has obviously got to know them on previous visits so she was chattering away to them (across the room) and winking at them.

George did not drink much yesterday and certainly not during the day and has it made a difference!! Last night we went to a restaurant for tea which was lovely. George had smoked salmon which he adores. He had wine with his meal but that was it.

Today he has woken up so much better. He is walking better - with a spring in his step and he has been to the toilet - no difficulties with that today. It is so pleasing as he is so much better, I need to encourage and ensure that he keeps this up!! As I said to him if we can't get this toileting under control I won't be able to take him away if I need to go away for work and he loves to do that. I guess it is the rewards that he can achieve is what I need to get him to concentrate on.

Toileting

Yesterday George was not drinking which was good. He helped to get all the washing out - there was a lot - two loads.

George had a good day and some of the time he watched the History channel which he enjoys especially the documentaries about World War 2. George is lucky as he always enjoyed a good conversation and still does. He can repeat himself a lot now but he is still entertaining to listen to and he loves to talk.

Unfortunately last night he went to the toilet again and instead of getting it all the toilet bowl a lot of it landed on the toilet floor, If that was not bad enough he then walked through it and got it on the soles of his feet. Walking through the house he trampled it into the carpet all down the hallway.  This happened at 1.15 a.m. and I woke up when he came back into the bedroom, put clothes on and then started to get back into bed. I had to help him get his clothes off and pyjamas on. I then found the hall and the toilet floor so had to clean up quickly then. Looking at the carpet this morning I have not done a wonderful job as I can still see the outline in the carpet so will need to clean again today.

This is where things can get very difficult...

Soiling

Unfortunately last night George soiled himself. I am not too sure what happened but he got it all over:

• The duvet cover
• His pyjama pants
• His track pants
• A pair of trousers
• The cushion on the lounge chair
• A shirt
• A T shirt

When I asked him about it he said it was because of the weather and it was happening all over the world. Let me tell you, this sort of thing is no fun for you and very embarrassing for the person with Alzheimer's.

This sort of thing makes life difficult for the caregiver. It makes me realise that going away is not an option. I had hoped to take him away with me when I go away with work but I am not sure that this is going to be able to happen.

George is so lucid most of the time and then something like this happens and you know that he is not going to get better.

I am trying very hard to encourage him to:

• exercise
• write his memories
• not drink alcohol too much
• eat regularly
• do things to use the brain

Alzheimer's and alcohol

Unfortunately George likes to drink wine and, to a lesser extent, gin and tonic. For a person with Alzheimer's alcohol is not a great idea as he just sits and will go to sleep in the chair with the glass still in his hand.This morning George woke before me (I was woken by several earthquakes during the night) and when I went out I found George with a glass of wine!!

Today I suggested to George that he vacuum the hall. He got the vacuum out but it would not start - he did not have it plugged in. He had some difficulty plugging it in but with some help this was achieved. He then had trouble starting it as he was standing on the starting button and starting it up but leaving his foot on the button and then when he finally released it he would actually depress the button again and turn it off!! We finally got there.

A better day for George

George felt as though he was on top of things today. He showered and shaved on his own and got dressed - he was really pleased with himself. We went to get some groceries and stopped in to get some DVDs and books from the library - George does not read books although he skims through non-fiction material. He also got out some DVDs to watch.

 Each night I write on the whiteboard:

1. the day
2. the date
3. each thing that George needs to do
4. anything we are doing together (and the time if appropriate)
5. anything I am doing so he knows where I am and what I am doing

Without being prompted he consulted the whiteboard to see what he needed to do and did it - gradually he is starting to go there without my suggesting it. It just helps him to feel in control and gives him a sense of satifaction.

getting ready for bed

Last night George came in to the bedroom to come to bed. He had his pyjamas on the bed but went and got some more out of the drawer. I told him to put them away as he didn't need them and the others were already out. After me suggesting that he put them away he stood for some time confused as to what to do. I had to repeat this several times. Eventually he put them away and put on the pyjamas he had on the bed.

I have to make sure that I don't treat him as though he is stupid and I need to ensure that my voice tone reflects this - it all requires a lot of patience.

Night time toilet

Unfortunately at times George mistakes where the toilet is and goes into the bathroom, down to the end and goes in the corner by the bath. We have a carpet in there and at first I thought that we had a broken pipe until I caught him one morning. I put newspaper down in the corner and that seemed to have stopped it but he went there again last night. I am going to have to put a lock on the door so he can't get in there at night.

Following

George has started following me when I go into another room. This is a bit disconcerting as I am usually trying to do something and he is talking about something that is completely irrelevant.

He said to me, "I can remember things and people in my class from years ago as clear as a bell, is that part of what I have?" I had to explain that is his long term memory and it is good he has that but it is his short term memory that is going.

so much has happened

I am now going to start to document this blog daily so it shows a record of how a person slowly degenerates into the world of the Alzheimer's.

Since I last wrote George has slowly come to accept that he has Alzheimer's but is trying to fight it. I have a list up on a white board each day so that he knows what day of the week it is, what month, the date etc. It then shows what he needs to do for that day.

I have found that without prompts he does not regularly shower or wash (I suspect that he just stands under the shower rather than washing). I also need to check clothes needing washing. He is not able to shave properly. Two weeks ago I asked the doctor if someone could come to help him with showering and shaving a couple of times a week. The doctor was reluctant but I insisted as I can see that it is going to get worse and if George can get used to someone helping now it will not be so hard further down the track. Last week George's caregiver, Mark, came for the first time. George was not too keen on the idea but Mark was really good and let George set the pace and be as independant as possible, wonderful help. Mark comes at 9.30 on the days he comes - 3 times a week.  One morning I found George about to get into the shower at 7 rather than wait for Mark. I suggested that we have breakfast and we went to the dining room. Before you could say 'Jack Rabbit' George had gones and turned the shower on again - that happened 4 times before Mark arrived.

I went to put the dish washer on this morning and found a whole lot of cups on the bench - some clean and some dirty. I asked George about them and he said that he was took the clean ones from the dishwasher for me to put away. He didn't seem to remember getting out the clean ones from the cupboards.

We had some friends round for drinks and nibbles last night. George was telling a story when he found that he couldn't find the words he needed. He covered it up successfully but he then talked to me about it later, he obviously finds this frustrating as language is his strength.

It is so sad as I know he is trying so hard and is frightened of going into a  home - hopefully that will not happen for some time.