Time Frame

Often I am not sure what time frame we are in. You often feel like you are in the middle of a Dr Who episode.

From: https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=44447 

Today George was very excited to see me and tell me of the adventures that took place last night. A group of young men were suddenly told to do something - I was unable to fathom exactly what it was. They were then suddenly told to stop. Through questioning George told me he was one of the young men. I suspect it was when he was in the army reserves after the war. George wasn't too sure about that one. This conversation took over an hour and there was no way George was going to be side tracked. I just go with it. 

Yesterday he also had had night time adventures when a little man in my team had done something wrong. He wants me to explain things to the little man. Despite questioning I couldn't figure out who the little man but have promised to explain about appropriate behaviour to him.

A spring in the step

George has been very good over the last week and we have had lots of conversations about his son's visit. He also keeps asking when he is coming back as he obviously remembers that he is coming. He is quite happy when I tell him it is isn't for a little while and I will tell him when.

Today when I went in he was dozing in a chair and although he woke up straight away he was not very 'with it'. He needed a shave and when I gave him the shaver he just dropped it down. I shaved him with lots of moaning and groaning going on, however we got there. He did enjoy his milkshake. I also take in large bottles of drink for him, just as I did with Mum. His language was often jumbled and not very coherent. Getting him to the table for lunch was a mission.

I was feeling pretty down when I left the home. On the way home I stopped to get petrol. Here oldies get 8 cents a litre off when they use their Gold Card. When I went to pay the bill the young man serving (in his twenties) looked at the card, looked at me and looked at the card and looked at me. After doing this a few times I asked if there was something wrong. He said 'well you can't have had this card long'. I did not tell him he needed to go to Specsavers and  left that garage with a spring in my step!

I have been laughing as I have been reading some of Paul's blog. He has said how he feels at the patronizing way some people speak to him. I feel exactly the same way! So do the people with Alzheimer's. I hear people saying that looking after those with dementia is like looking after a child! WRONG. Talking to them as though they are a child is the best way to get their backs up. Mum used to get so upset and would often ask me to explain to others that she was intelligent and knew what she was talking about (even when she didn't). You need to take what they say with dignity and respect and accept that this is their reality and talk to them as though that is exactly what it is.

From: https://nz.pinterest.com/kathielangford/nursing-homes/ 

Busy, busy, busy

I don't know where the time goes but I certainly don't feel 'retired'.

Last week George's eldest son unexpectedly arrived for a visit. As I am camping in a munted house at present it wasn't something I was prepared for. I rummaged through boxes and found some bedding to make him up a room. Luckily he didn't mind camping too. We spent a lot of time with George and took him out during the day. With two of us we were easily able to manage it. We paced things each day visiting coffee shops and a pub! George just loved it. He had some really good lucid times where he and his son had a great conversation. We had to be careful not to wear him out. One day we did not go out as George was not having a good day and was unable to stand up. It was lovely that he was here for nearly a week so we had the luxury of taking each day as it came, as I usually do. It certainly provided George with a great quality of life during this time.

George has had some really good days since he was here as well as some very sleepy days. He really loved being fussed over by the two of us and it is wonderful to know his son is coming back next month.

In discussions with George when we were talking about what the three of us had done George said

It was marvellous

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. I always try to make it special for George.

George was having a good day and was very lucid. He had had a good sleep and a big sleep in which makes a difference.

One of his sons sent a card and a gift - chocolates which are appropriate as he has developed a really sweet tooth like Mum. We carefully put these in his top drawer where we are hoping others won't find them!

I took in his regular milkshake as well. I also took a card from all his sons.

He cannot open things any longer so I open them and just have the contents peeking out. He is then able to get the card or gift out himself. He no longer makes sense from reading so I read the cards for him. He was thrilled with everything.

We looked at photos of him with his sons. This way I try to ensure that he knows them and who they are.

I have always believed that Mother's and Father's Days should be about family and doing something for the person, not just grabbing a gift. Spending time is important!

When I was teaching the children and I brainstormed all sorts of things their parents would like. These did not cost money but time and effort. It might be cleaning the car, doing the dishes or getting the parent breakfast in bed for example. The children then made a cards and a voucher for their parent. They then fully understood that the parent could use the voucher as appropriate.

Parents and children all liked this.

Something I did today was to text someone who has been a wonderful father to his children, I just told him what a wonderful father he is.

So good to celebrate days to make them special. Although George may not remember it for long you need to enjoy being in the moment.